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"The Deadly Trap of Fearing Man" 01/28/25

Writer's picture: Matthew DeneaultMatthew Deneault

Dear Church,

 

Proverbs 29:25 says that "the fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe." 

 

The imagery of a snare reminds us of THE DANGER of fearing man. Fear, like a snare, is destructive. But there's another side to the image of a snare. A snare is also deceptive. Snares are designed so that animals see the promise of reward, but behind the bait lies a hook. In the same way, FEAR OF MAN disguises itself well. Fear is deceptive because it looks different for every person.


Some people get loud, some shy, some talk too much, others withdraw into themselves.

 

Fear of man includes holding someone in awe, putting your hope/trust in a particular person, allowing other people to control/master how you live.

 

I like to summarize our fearful responses with the acronym HEAT, because when a situation in our lives gets HEATed, I have found we almost always turn to one of these responses.   


When someone fears man, they may…

 

1)    H = Hide (This response pretends that nothing is wrong, the goal is to fit in).

 

When might you be tempted to hide, desire to fit in with everyone?

 

2)    E = Escape (This response is to run away from the situation, the goal is to get away, leave troubles behind. This is what some call, the flight response).

 

We may escape to all sorts of things, from Social Media to alcohol to anything else that makes us feel good - but we can't escape our troubles.

 

What are some things you might escape to when you're feeling afraid?

 

3)    A = Attack (This response is to fight, lash out, get angry, or LOUD. The goal is to seize control or to stand out, take on your problem and win. This is what some people call the fight response).

 

In what ways can you see the attack mode in your life? What does your bravado reveal about who you fear?

 

4)    T = Trust (specifically I'm referring to trust in God, trusting is marked by thankful prayer and obedience to God, our goal is to please God)

 


In their book "Courage: Fighting Fear with Fear”, Wayne & Joshua Mack describe some of the fear responses they’ve seen in people’s lives (The following examples were taken from their book, on pages 74-75).


As you read, consider how these examples compare with the acronym above. Where do you tend to be?


-Those who don’t do what’s right because they are afraid of people.

-Those who do the right thing, but only to fit in.

-Those who are so afraid of what people will think, they won’t use the talents God has given them.

-Those who close themselves off from people out of fear, they won’t let anyone in.

-Those who depend on relationships, they MUST have friendships, must be in a relationship, must be the centre of attention, MUST be with people to be happy, all because they are controlled by what people think. 

-Those who are indecisive because of their fear, they hate making decisions, because they worry someone will not like their decision. Then when they decide they are always second guessing whether they did the right things.

-Those who try to control the situation, they act very assertively, with self-confidence, but the reason they dominate others is to try to fool others by putting on a show of strength.

-Those who feel empty – they feel purposeless, because they are going nowhere and their lives are controlled by the opinions of others, since others don’t see them as “important” people, they feel like they are failure. 

-Those who feel incredibly successful, they’ve “made it” – they haven’t missed out – such people are respected and they know it. They derive their sense of worth from what others think of them; thus they too are controlled by the fear of man.

-Those who strive to conform – want to be invisible, don’t want to stand out, they wear the same clothes as everyone else, dress like everyone else to try to fit in – so others ‘like them.’ Want to be ‘cool’

-Those who rebel against conformity, they are dominated by a desire to stand out in a crowd – so that people will look at them and notice them, which amounts to the same ‘fear of man.’

 

They conclude “so the fear of man is deceptive because it shows up in different forms.” Page 75


Fear is also deceptive because all these forms of fear promise something they cannot give. Whether you think the benefit of “fitting in” or “standing out” in a crowd is greater, neither can give us the “greatest good.”

Both fall short of the happiness that is in Christ. When we fear others we are acting as though we need JESUS + _____ in order to be happy & secure. In essence, we’ve made people into an idol to whom we bow in worship.

People will never give us TRUE JUSTICE, or EVERLASTING LOVE.

The end of Proverbs 29:25 reminds us where lasting confidence is found.

"The Fear of man is like a snare, But the one who trusts in the Lord is safe!"

Fear Him and you will be safe.


Grace and Peace, 

 

Matt

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